Share your “Why would anyone search this?”

[milkbandit23]

That explains so much about Florida!

[tsukihi3]

When I was working with a pest control company and we were experimenting with broad match about a decade ago, I found “how to get rid of your wife” in the search terms report.

The scarier thing was that it wasn’t just one impression.

[all_my_dirty_secrets]

Weird searches began to make so much more sense when I had kids. My five year old asks me to search the darndest things, and I can only imagine what would come into her head to ask if she had free access.

[allanminium]

I had someone searching for “[my company name] porn”. It was a 2 man company and it was tech related

[VidalEnterprise]

That is really funny. I’d like to know more.

[Sea_Appointment8408]

My favourite one once was “rectal orgasm massage near me”.

Wasn’t expecting to have to add “rectal” as a negative, nor some of the other stuff from the local area underbelly I had no idea existed lol

[SpiffyPenguin]

I used to have a client that sold home security systems, and the number of searches we got for “does {celebrity name} have home security” was truly baffling. I haven’t checked, but I’m pretty confident that Bill Gates does in fact have a security system.

I also had a client that did personal training, so we had a lot of weight loss adjacent terms. My favorites were the variants of “how to lose 50 lbs in one day”. Like, idk, cut off your leg?

(For what it’s worth, I assume that these folks in Florida are looking for lead paint that specifically tastes *bad* so children won’t accidentally eat it, but it does look very strange!)